The Droptop Disgruntlement

The Droptop Disgruntlement

 

Originally Written June 2015

 

Frustration. It comes in many ways. It’s sifting through thousands of lines of code to find that one </> you forgot to place to close out the command. A musician with writer’s block on the verge of finishing that Grammy winning song but being distracted by the neighbors TV that only has one volume, FULL. Perhaps it’s waiting on Tech support for 1 and four quarter minutes then being transferred to someone who actually speaks English only to get disconnected. Maybe you are trying to teach an old cat new tricks but they just sleep instead. Yes, life is full of frustration.  What frustrates me? My e36 convertible top that is being as compliant as a 5 year old in the cereal aisle when mommy says no but they are tempted by tiny colored marshmallows and plastic toys wrapped in clear plastic. That my Bimmerfile friends is the ultimate irritation.

As you may remember from our last issue I magically turned my e38 into an e36 323i convertible. Don’t ask how I did it; it’s a well guarded trade secret. As you will soon find out, I may have regret and disappointment with my decision. I knew the car had some needs. The blower motor was not functioning and there are some front end parts that are not as tight as they used to be. Plus the ABS and Airbag light was on, covered up by electrical tape as if that will fool anyone. But the car was fairly clean and it did run well so I was willing to do some work in exchange for topless fun in the sun.

About a month ago the plastic trim piece that goes across the top by the windshield started to hang. I investigated and it appeared it was just a couple zip ties holding it in place, at least that’s what  used to be there. It was starting to get dark but I figured it shouldn’t take long and it will be a quick fix.  Famous last words right? My wife offered a hand in the backyard mechanicry. The trim piece was a little more difficult to hold in place than I thought but Sandy did what she could to help keep it aligned. After several increasingly annoying tries, I was able to get everything back to where it should be. Next was to operate the top to make sure everything is ok. Halfway back, the zip ties break free and trim piece pops off again. I didn’t know why or how but all those minutes fiddling were all in vain. For a temporary repair, I got regular wire ties just to hold the trim roughly in place so I can put the top back in place.

In another 30 seconds, I would be done for the night... but not the way I thought. Murphy’s Law, anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.  As the rear of the top is lifting to allow the convertible boot to come down, they both catch and next thing I hear is a loud metallic POP! That can’t be good.  But the top was still moving so I figured maybe it was just caught and its fine now.  Wrong sir, WRONG! Now everything is operating out of sequence. The boot is trying to go up as the top is trying to go down.  This really can’t be good.

At this point the wind is out of my sails and the convertible top is stuck in limbo. Much like a pair of sneakers hanging from the power lines, destined to be perpetually suspended in air.  I was done for the evening. The sunlight is now replaced by the luminous glow from the spotlights over the garage door. Now the decision what to do with the car as rain was expected in the morning? With only a one car garage and the e21 resting comfortably inside, I had to make the unfortunate choice to pull that one out and bring the e36 in since the malfunctioning top would not be ideal for the impending inclement weather.

I had about as much motivation to find out what happened as a pirate walking the plank. We both said the same thing too - ARGH!!!!! Jump ahead to just two weeks ago, I pull the emergency release located under the rear seat on the driver’s side to free the two electric motors and operate the top manually. I then remove the trunk trim to reveal the motors. I quickly find that the convertible boot rod that connects to the motor had popped off so that explains the banging noise. As I try to reinstall it, I find the bracket coming off the top motor had bent. With a small pry bar and a mallet I was able to straighten the bent metal into the proper position. I managed to get the bar back into the post. The clip was missing so Sandy, my trusty mechanics assistant, suggested it might be under the trunk mat. Sure enough, there is was. Now there is a proper sequencing procedure that I’ve done once before several years ago with another 323i cabriolet at my dealership with a similar issue. I would have to wait to finish the job properly until I find the instructions again.

That day was today. I found the link on my work computer to the sequence and after getting home from work, I was ready to finally get this car together.

Step 1 - Pull the release and disengage the motors.

Step 2 – Manually retract the top and close the boot cover.

Step 3 – Reengage the motors.

Step 4 – Key off press the top up button, Turn the key to the accessory. Wait 12 seconds the convertible boot locks then within 10 seconds the top will close on its own. Everything will be in sync.

That’s what the instructions said.  I have done this several times. Each time I can hear motors working but the boot cover only locked and would not lift to allow the top to close. I double, no make that triple check the motors to make sure they are engaged and everything seems to be as the instructions state, except the darn thing isn’t doing what they say it’s supposed to be doing. All I have is a flashing red light on the top button and a permanent convertible. I am throwing in the towel and need to seek professional help. Probably in more ways than one, but that’s for another story.

Frustration, it’s the killer of motivation. It’s the source of stress. It stems from failure, causing hindrance in the completion of projects. Its birthplace is not within the depths of Hell, but resides in the boot well of the e36 convertible top.

~ JT Burkard ~

Comments and suggestions welcome