Monday, May 22, 2017

The G6 Showdown


  You have read about a bunch of my phone and text interactions with “buyers”. Today I will tell a tale of a face to face interaction with a potential buyer.  The vehicle was a Metallic Blue 2007 Pontiac G6 with 30k original miles. This car was perfect. I was selling it for one of my BMW club members. I did my research on what the realistic price for this car would be comparing to real world comps. This is the best way to gauge a true value and I listed it at what I thought was a very reasonable price, especially since it was the lowest mileage one on the market.




  I list the car and several hours later I get a phone call from a very interested party. He said "this sounds like the exact car I'm looking for and I'll come around tomorrow lunch time to see it”. I had high hopes. He sounded serious with money burning a hole in his pocket. Noon arrives, as well as my buyer. The first thing out of his mouth is "What are all of these cars? Are you a flipper?” I said, these are my personal cars, they are not for sale (admittedly, it does look like a car lot with all the cars Sandy and I have collected). He says "Is that a Mercedes under that cover? What are you asking for that" Yes it’s a Mercedes; no it’s not for sale, that my wife's SLK. Then he's pointing to the other cars and asked what was under the other car cover. I said that’s our Alfa Romeo. He then goes on how those were horrible cars, always breaking down, and the usual Italian car put downs. This is starting out smashingly, with insults. This was an indication for things to come.

  I quickly direct him to the G6 in the other driveway. Immediately he tells me all the problems these GM products have and how he guarantees this car is ripe with issues because he has had a few G6’s & Malibu’s. I said if you owned so many of these cars and they are so problematic, why do you still want to buy another one? That doesn’t make any sense does it? I basically called his bluff. I know his game. Shoot down the car so you can come in at a low ball offer. This guy doesn't realize I am a professional in this game.

  I open the door, pop the hood for him and fire the car up. He starts checking under the hood and the first thing out of his mouth was "This isn't a garage kept car like you said, I can see it stayed outside. What else aren't you telling me right?" What is this guy talking about? The engine compartment was super clean and had ZERO signs of being left outside. (see picture).We live in NJ, there’s snow and rain, it’s not going to be perfectly showroom but it was pretty damn close to it. The thing that really got me was he was basically calling me a liar. That doesn't sit well with me at all. I know the owner personally and I picked up the car from the garage. He proceeds with his inspection and tells me the tires are worn, which they weren't, and they need immediate replacement. They did not. Then he makes up all these other mythological issues the car had. I thought to myself: Wow, you must be some kind of savant mechanic because you didn't even sit in the car or drive it yet and you are telling me it’s going to need thousands of dollars of work, on a mint condition car with 30,100 miles. The worst part of it all was he did it with an attitude that he seemed to have starting the moment he arrived to see the car. I don’t mind someone doing their due diligence when buying a car but don’t be an ass. My patience was quickly running thin.


  Next he asks me how I got the car. I tell him I am selling the Pontiac for one of my fellow BMW club members, because he is tired of dealing with people from Craigslist, like you. He just ignored my little dig at him. He then says "well whose name is it in?" I said the owner’s name, I am selling it for him as a favor and he just explodes with all kinds of gibberish like I’m jumping title, what if the DMV questions who he bought it from, I’m illegally selling the car, etc. I ignore him because I have a legal contract with the buyer to sell the vehicle on his behalf. 

  Then he said "what I think is going on is you bought this car for very cheap and you are trying to sell the car for a big profit and that's wrong." I quickly cut him off. My voice became more strict and my volume started to increase as I reiterated the truth again to him. DO NOT unjustly call me a liar because this conversation is going to end quickly. He then asks me "Who came up with this price?" I say the seller and I came up with a fair price for the car in comparison to similar cars currently on the market. He says "Well KBB private party says its worth much less and needing tires, I want a $500 deduction, and that's before I drive it, and find more issues the car has." Kelly Blue Book isn’t going to be anywhere near what this car is worth simply because they take an average of prices. With no other cars that were comparable, it’s going to give a false value.  I inform him that guides are not realistic with cars like this. I did an analysis of real world cars currently on the market within this region at the moment. His response was "Yeah, but they are dealers and do financing and offer warranties. I don't buy from dealers; I buy from private parties so I avoid all the bullshit". The only shit I smelled at the time was the crap coming out of his mouth. This car was priced below any dealers closest comparable, which had 25,000 more miles. I encouraged him to find a G6 in the price range he wanted to be in because those cars have triple the mileage. I knew he wouldn’t find another one equal within a 1,500 mile radius. I already looked.


  He continues on his almost tirade when I said I had enough. I closed the hood, shut the car off, locked the door, I reached out and shook his hand that he wasn't even offering to me, and said thank you for coming to see the car, I am sorry we can't make a deal. You are going to have to leave. I started walking away and he responds with "that's it, you're not going to even negotiate with me?" and that starts him off spewing that I'm a flipper, illegally selling, not following the law, I'm flagging you on Craigslist, and a bunch of other stuff I wasn't even paying attention too.

  I never turned around, I didn't even respond. I just walked away and let him ramble on until he left. What a nutcase. My blood pressure must have been sky high because this jerkoff had me to the boiling point. This guy needed Prozac or something, and I needed a stiff drink. I really feel sorry for the next people he meets when car shopping. "I only buy from individuals." That's because you want to wear them down with your constant barrage of defilement so YOU can steal the car at a bargain basement price. I’ve been in this business for 17 years and I don’t think I ever had to deal with someone like this before. I pride myself in offering quality cars at the right price and sell them honestly. I refuse to let a buyer call me an unscrupulous seller when everything I told him was the truth.  I know what I had and I wasn’t going to take shit from this guy.


  Luckily three days later, I wound up selling it to my neighbor, who thought it was an excellent deal and loves the car. It goes to show you that one mans tirade is another woman’s treasure. 

Monday, December 5, 2016

Fun with Craigslist 2nd Edition - Craigslist is the People of Walmart of the internet.

Fun with Craigslist 2nd Edition


Here are a few more postings from Facebook over the past couple months. These were the most popular as I had done screen shots of the interactions with these people. Enjoy!

August 3 2016

More fun with Craigslist car buyers text. Today's riddle as shown here. The struggle is real.


Yes, ladies and gentleman, this is the famous 3rall text!
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August 3 2016

  Another screen shot:

Notice how there was no response after. This happens a lot.

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August 4, 2016

Today’s installment of Fun with Craigslist - The following was a conversation that just happened on the phone with very broken English:

Me - Hello, This is JT
Caller - Where you located?
Me - What are you calling on?
Caller - You have car?
Me - Yes, I have several advertised. Which vehicle were you interested in?
Caller - What is the address?
Me - Which car are you interested in? They are in different locations.
Caller - Oh. I am interested in the one you have on Craigslist.
Me - They are all on Craigslist. Which one are you inquiring about?
Caller - Lexus
Me - OK, thank you. When would you like to see it?
Caller - No I just need address.
Me - I am not at that location all the time. I will have to meet you there. When would you like to come?
Caller - I only need the address.
Me - If I give you the address and you come without anyone knowing you are only go to a locked secured fenced lot. You won’t be able to get in and you will waste your trip. So you need to let me know when you would like to come so I can meet you there.
Caller - I can't just come to look?
Me - No. The lot has security cameras, an alarm, and guard dogs. I need to be there if you want to see the SUV.
Caller - Oh. I need the address because I bring tow truck to get it home. I need to know how much it cost.
Me - The Lexus is at a towing yard. Where do you want the truck delivered? I can get a price quote for you.
Caller - No I bring truck.
Me - Oh so you have your own tow truck or have someone already?
Caller - No, I need to get one.
Me - I can help you with that.
Caller - All I need is address.

At this point I know we are going in circles so I gave him the address of the old lot because I do not want this guy snooping around. This will give him a general idea of location to get a price if he winds up being a real buyer, which I highly doubt. (edit: guy never called back)

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August 5, 2016

Today’s Fun with Craigslist:

Now this isn't as bad as some of the fools that I get but still I thought it was an interesting call.

I get a phone call from a lady on a 1999 Mercedes ML320 SUV I am selling. It has 170k miles, it runs but has a throttle issue, or lack thereof. This is another impound car I am selling. Retail on these is around $3500-4000. Wholesale $1,500-$2k. I have it listed for $950.00 because of the work that it needs, which is specified in the ad. I also said it needs to be towed to a mechanic to be repaired before you drive it.

So she asks "can I drive this home?"
I said "no, it is not in drivable condition and will need to be repaired before you can drive it reliably”
Her – So I can’t drive it? What does it need?
Me – I don’t know. When you give it gas, it does nothing. It’s at a towing company. They don’t do repairs. I sell their impounded cars as/is.
Her – I only have $900 to spend on a car including tax and motor vehicle. I need a reliable car. I’m a new mother and I don’t want to miss work.
Me – When do you need a car by?
Her – 3 pm today my shift starts.
Me – Oh, that’s not a lot of time. That’s going to be tough.
Her – My other car died a month ago. I need a car ASAP. I need the overtime.
Me – I am not sure I have anything for you but let me give you a couple phone numbers for dealers I know who do Buy Her Pay Here.

So I give her a couple numbers for the dealers and then tell her this might be the route for her because for the $900 she has, she can put down on a better car she can make payments on, even if her credit is not good. Let’s be honest, $900 does not get you a gem of a car. Especially if she has limited funds, I said a Mercedes is NOT the vehicle for her. The repair costs will certainly exceed her pay scale. So being that she is going to be driving with her baby, I don’t want to see her break down in some POS because she didn’t have a lot to spend.

Sometimes it’s not about making the sale but helping people out and looking out for their needs.

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August 7, 2016

Fun with Craigslist, Sunday bicycle edition. I had a couple extra bikes lying around that I used to ride around the Englishtown Raceway Park swap meet. If they went missing during the night no big deal since I usually got them cheap or free and fixed them up for my use. I'm trying to eliminate the extra clutter and hopefully pick up some spending cash to boot.

So the following conversation is from today followed by a picture of the mountain bike we were talking about.



Again, notice no response after. What are people thinking?

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August 9, 2016

Today’s Fun with Craigslist installment:

Yesterday, 11:30 am, I speak (barely understanding him) to a guy who is from Irvington who wants to come and buy a Lexus I have listed from the impound lot. He talks price over the phone, which I really hate to do but we come to a fair price. He calls me back and said I will come first thing in the morning. I say I'll meet him at the yard at 9am but he needs to call or text me when he is leaving so I don't waste my time. He then calls me back 30 mins later to confirm he will be there at 9am. At 7:03 am this morning he calls, leaves a message, and says he is already on his way. I didn't listen to the message until 7:23 because I was still sleeping at the time. Figuring the time it takes to go from Irvington to Neptune, which puts him at the yard a little past 8:00 am. I have to get my ass moving now. I leave him a message saying I was expecting him at 9 but will get ready to leave and meet him there between 8:15-8:30am. At 7:36 he calls and says he is on RT 18 and only 20 minutes away but has to "U-turn" and head back. I asked why, he says he got a call, possibly an emergency, but he still will buy it today. It’s now 1:30 pm. No contact since.

(Edit: the guy did come a couple days later and bought the car but he was being a real scumbag. We agree on a price and once he gets there he is tearing up the Lexus trying to make it sound worse than it was to get it cheaper. This isn’t my first rodeo and I know the game he is playing. I said to the guy “Well if is this much of a piece of shit, what do you still want it?” He was sticking to his price so I told him “I guess you wasted your time” and I was showing him to the gate to leave.  Tensions calmed down and we got a deal done. It sold for less than what I really wanted to be at but more than his insulting offer. A sold unit is a sold unit. Time to move onto the next one)

Buyer #2. Guy calls on a 2003 Grand Cherokee I have listed. Very nice guy on the phone, asks a few questions, consults with the wife, and said we want to come tomorrow maybe 11 or 12. I said let’s do 11. He agrees and I send him the address on where to go. I also told him please call me when you are on your way because I will be at the other location and will have to meet him there. He said "No problem, I'll call you when we are on our way. If we can't make it, I'll let you know too." So today at 10:30 am I send him a text message that asks if he is still on schedule for 11 am? No text or call to confirm our appointment. Again, 1:30 pm and no contact.

I really have a feeling that mental hospitals allow their patients to surf Craigslist and give them a phone to randomly call people. Because every other website I use gives me quality serious buyers. Honestly there is 1 out of 30 calls/text that I get that are true buyers. But I still sell cars with it so it’s worth it to put them on there but after a while it burns you out.

Craigslist is the People of Walmart of the internet.


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August 16, 2016

More Craigslist text messaging fun. Behold the spelling champ of this week.


 The famous PIRAYS text!
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September 4, 2016 9:30am.

Craigslist fun Labor Day weekend edition. Three quick stories.

1. Got a kid who emailed me on a $20 bicycle - "Hi, I'm really interested in buying the blue bike you listed on Craigslist. I'm a student in New Brunswick who doesn't have a car, but I'd be able to give you $15 extra bucks if you'd be willing to deliver. Let me know if you're interested!"
WOW, a whole $15 extra bucks!!!! Yeah sure, I'll drive from Brick to New Brunswick and back to deliver a $20 bike for $15. Seriously? That's not even minimum wage plus expenses for a two hour round trip. Apparently this kid never took an economics class. I do appreciate his enthusiasm though by using an exclamation point asking if I'm interested in his proposal.

2. Last night at around 11:00 pm my phone rings with a guy who's interested in one of my dealer cars. As I mentioned before all my ads state no calls past 9pm in the first sentence. The guy says call me back ASAP. Have people really lost all sense of respect and courtesy that it doesn't occur to them that calling someone at 11pm is not acceptable? I'm going to take my time returning his call, maybe at 4:30am and see how he likes it. (edit: I never called him back)

3. I spoke with a buyer several times on a Toyota I'm selling. He wanted to meet on Friday I wasn’t able to meet that day so I told him Saturday we can meet. Yesterday morning he calls at 9am and said can we meet at 10am? I said 11 am is the earliest I can get there. The guy says great I'll see you then. I show up at the yard and wait, and wait, and wait. Guess what? He didn't show up. No call, won't return my calls. What the hell? Again, Craigslist lack of courtesy and respect.


I don't know if there's just something about Craigslist that attracts the bottom of the barrel but I don't have many issues like this with other sites I advertise on. 

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Fun with Craigslist Buyers - 1st Edition

Fun with Craigslist Buyers - 1st Edition

  This is my newest topic for my blog. Fun with Craigslist. As a car broker and dealer, I list many vehicles on Craigslist because it is a popular place for people to search for cars. Along the way, I get some real strange and annoying "customers" so I've compiled some of the crazy stories I get when dealing with Craigslist buyers every week. As I was posting these on Facebook to rant, I was getting a lot of positive feedback on the amusement factor. So I took some of the best stories and will start reposting them here for everyone to read. 

 My misery is your entertainment! 

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July 19th 2016

<craigslist rant>

What the hell is wrong with people? Do people in this society have their head so far up their ass and self-absorbed they can't comprehend what is decent anymore? I can't even blame a new generation, this issue spans several. Core values are disappearing. This isn't in reference to police shootings, the presidential race, or terrorist attacks. Nope, those are major issues my FB page can't not solve. But if you wish to interact with the lowest form of the public, just place an ad on Cragislist and see who contacts you. I swear I am going to start a new page/site called the People of Craigslist and post screen shots of my text messages. Granted there are good people out there too but 9/10 Craigstlist users suck. So here's the story/rant of the day.

I have many ads online for impounded vehicles that I am marketing for a towing company. My ad it states "Please, no text or calls past 9pm". I also state that if they are reading the ad, it’s still available and no need to ask if it’s for sale. The reason for this is I get 5-10 text a day from scammers asking this very question so I just delete the text to avoid their BS. Last night I get a text at 11:20pm asking "Hey, is your car still for sale" - Obviously he either didn't bother reading or just doesn't give a crap. 

This morning I text him back, "Thank you for your interest, as stated in the ad it is still available." The buyer says "do you really think you are going to sell your car being an asshole like this?" Wait? What? I'm the asshole? So I point out that it was very disrespectful to send a message at almost midnight when I politely asked not to. In which he replied "what difference does it make what time I text you? If I want to buy the car, you should sell it to me, even if it’s in the middle of the night. That's what's wrong with society, people are too fuckin lazy and no one wants to work anymore. I drive people around at 2am to god knows where and if I want to text you at midnight I goddamn will" I don't know what driving people around a 2 am has to do with any of this but OK? Maybe he's signed up with UberPissed?

I just reply "What is wrong with society is people like yourself have a sense of entitlement and no common respect for other people"

I then just block his number because arguing on the internet is like playing chess with a pigeon. Even if you think you've won, the pigeon is just going to strut all over the board shitting on everything.

WTF!

</craigslist rant>

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July 20, 2016

More Craigslist ranting.

I have determined that this BS I posted yesterday and today will go on my blog (This one)  I haven't updated in a while. I will then post the link by the weekend. Humanity is on a fiery spiraling downhill, I will report its demise.

Saturday, I was supposed to help my Bro-in-law move but three people wanted to come at 9am to buy cars. So I agree to meet everyone at the lot and hopefully I would be out of there by 11 to go into moving mode. I'm not going to turn down income.

9am: First guy shows up, tries to chop me $800 on an $1800 vehicle. I declined and very nicely said that's not going to do it. So we come to a price everyone was happy with. He then tells me that he was just going to put plates off his other truck on the Toyota 4Runner I was selling him and drive it back to Philly. I tell him I cannot allow him to do that. So he gets mad that I won't let him drive illegally. Hello? This is how cars wind up at the impound yard to begin with. He leaves and said he may come back on Thursday with a trailer. I'm not holding my breath. (edit: I never heard from the guy again) 



Customer 2: Shows up for a 96 F150 pickup. Truck isn't perfect but it runs and drives and cheap. Guy takes his time, looks at it, we go for a drive around the block, he buys, and all is good.


Customer 3: Confirms he is on his way but at 12:30 still does arrive or return my calls/text. I leave, annoyed but at least one vehicle sold.

Sunday: More "customers". Guy says I have cash and I will meet you there at noon. I leave my house, go to the lot, wait, they never show up.

Monday: Two people "on my way see you soon". I go up, both were ghosts.

Tuesday: Guy has been hounding me to buy this 4Runner says he is coming from Philly, is a dealer and an exporter and wants to buy the truck and maybe something else while he is there. I can tell by the way he talks he is half full of shit but I'll take the gamble. He says he will be there by 2pm. So I do what I have to in the morning, hop on the motorcycle and ride up to the shop. Guy confirms yes I'm on my way. I wait an hour for the guy. No show. I leave and go home. But I take the slow road back by the beach through Spring Lake, Sea Girt, and Manasquan on the motorcycle.


2 more people call me after I get home "I want to come tonight for your car" - I tell both of them contact me when you are 10 mins away. I'm not going to go all the way back to the yard in Asbury Park for nothing again. One guy never contacts me, the other was kind enough to let me know he can't get a ride down and will have to reschedule.


Now if I was at the lot all day, it would be much different because at least I am there already and I can do busy work but I am an independent contractor selling vehicles for multiple people. When I go to Asbury Park to meet someone, that's 40+ minutes round trip from Brick, plus the time I spend waiting for them that is completely wasted. It also throws off the tempo of the day. I explain to these people that I am not in the office but I will meet them there if they are seriously coming down. People just lost all respect for other people. I grew up that when you give your word on something, you do it. If you make an appointment, you show up. Don't make people wait for you when you have no intentions on not going.

I swear sometimes I think I am going to change careers and become a Kayaking Guide. (I’ve only kayaked once in my life)



Monday, September 12, 2016

Sometimes it’s About The Chase


Sometimes it’s About The Chase 

  

  I am constantly searching for my next purchase.  Sometimes it’s for resale, sometimes it’s for myself, and sometimes it’s both. When I search for BMW’s I tend to seek out round headlight cars from the 1960’s-1990 and lately expanding to the e46, e38’s and e39’s when I don’t find any early cars that catch my interest. Mostly I find 2002’s and e30’s, but with the prices of those in decent condition climbing, most are out of the budget I set. So I have been focused on my first love, the e21, and something I never owned before, the e28. The latter will be the subject of this column, a 1986 528e that needed rescue. 

1986 BMW 528e
 My first contact was made back in September 22, 2015. The initial sighting was during a late night search at 10:50PM after I got home from O’Fest. I felt inspired and needed to buy something. The ad was vague with a minimal description and one photo from the front. The e28 looked like it was sitting behind a warehouse.  I sent an email requesting more information and if possible more pictures.  The seller responded the next day saying this is a car for a mechanic, it doesn’t run, and he doesn’t know what’s wrong with it. Plus he didn’t have any further pictures.  Not a good start. 



 I responded with an email saying that I was 140 miles away from the seller as he was located in Bridgeport Connecticut. I was a BMW enthusiast, club member, and have saved many cars in the past. This was my hobby and profession. Additional pictures will help me decide if the car was worth a day on the road to see the car or not. Plus the expense of fuel and tolls while dragging a trailer behind me. I was hoping this plea would convince him take more pictures for me. If not, I was moving onto my next quest.  



 He responded the following day with this email: “Most people on Craigslist are wondering how long they can drive it before doing any work, and I don’t have the time or patience for their lack of reading or mechanical comprehension. You are the type of guy the car is waiting for. It’s a good candidate for more years on the road. I’ll get some more photos.”



  It wasn’t until the 26th that the pictures arrived.  To my surprise the seller took 24 amazingly detailed pictures showing the entire exterior, interior, door jams, engine compartment etc. Even the tire tread. It appeared to be very solid and worth saving. He also informed me his mother was the second owner from 1989. Mileage is 148,000 but that’s not much for this car. I made the decision to try and buy it. But with the distance in the way, finding a day to go up was going to be challenging.

  

 It took multiple times of rescheduling before I made it up there.  It seemed like every day I chose to take the trip, something came up. Whether it was doing auction runs for a couple used car dealers, or a new car dealer swap in New Hampshire, or picking up a rare Riley Elf racecar in Ohio, each week had its own challenges.



 As the holidays approached and the ad expired I lost track of his phone number my interest waned but I still kept it in my thoughts. Then late in December the owner shot me an email to say he was down south for the Holidays and is back. If I am still interested, we can finally make arrangements. January 7th was the magic day I went to CT to pick up my new restoration project.



 The day was fantastic, almost in the 60’s, the traffic was light and it seemed like everything was going too well. We had agreed on 11:00 am to meet up. I was running slightly behind schedule but only by a few minutes. I called to let him know my location. He informed me I was only 20 minutes away and gave me easy directions once I got off I95. When he told me what to look for my red flag went up. I was to look for an abandoned house that was burned down. WAIT WHAT? This doesn’t sound too safe. The neighborhood was not nice and as I went down the block, it was getting scarier. Then I pull up to a shell of what used to be a house but now is condemned. There is a pickup truck in the street with a car trailer attached with Tennessee plates and a man standing in the back of the yard by a huge concrete garage waiting.



 OK let’s add this up.  Out of state plates, trailer, burned out house, and murder scene location. Sounds perfectly safe. But there was a Bronzit Beige 528e sitting next to the garage, which was the building I had seen in the original pictures. Putting my faith in society, I stepped out of my truck and walked towards the seller who greeted me with a smile and a handshake. Not an axe murderer after all. He explained the home was in his family for years and recently burned down. He bought property in TN and once this place sold he was moving down there permanently which is the reason why he was selling the car.



 The e28 was everything he said it was. It was filthy from sitting since 2010 but surprisingly in very good shape for a northeast car. Solid underside, no rot, no major dings, leather interior was intact, and even had the selling paper work from the original owner who took European delivery! It even had a dealer installed radar detector under the dash with the manual in the glove box. WOW! These are the little things I like to see.  After some stiff negotiation (he didn’t want to budge) the money was exchanged and the car was hand winched onto the trailer. (A side note, I really need to install that electric winch Sandy got me for Christmas several years ago.) - (edit: Since then I have installed the winch and its everything I hoped it would be. My back thanks me too)





 On the way home I stopped for road food at the rest area and gave the car another once over. I was really happy I bought this 528e. It’s not my favorite color, it’s an automatic, and it hasn’t been on the road in 6 years but it was just too good of a car to let it sit any longer. So far I’ve only managed to get it off the trailer, put a battery in it and diagnose the main fuel pump to be faulty.  Parts will be ordered soon but I need to find time to actually work on the car. Hopefully it won’t turn into a Bavarian lawn ornament. 



 So stay tuned, the adventure is just beginning. Lucky for me it didn’t end inside a charred 3 story home several states away never to be found again.

- Update 9/12/2016 - The car hasn't moved since it was unloaded from the trailer in January. I do have plans on getting it running within the next month but with all the other cars I had to prepare for resale since the beginning of the year, this one was pushed off to the back burner. -

Monday, November 16, 2015

Redemption

Redemption

 Originally written September 2015

Sometimes to achieve success you need to know when to go to the experts for advice. As you read in the last newsletter, my e36 was the source of stress and frustration. The convertible top failed and with numerous attempts to rectify the situation, it was to no avail. I threw in the towel and forced the 320i out into the weather while the topless convertible got the garage until I could come up with a solution. The one silver lining to this was since the e21 was already outside I wound up driving that car more in one month than I probably did most of last year. There was nothing to move out of the way, just hop in, turn the key and drive.  The e36, a different story.
 
I received several emails from club members after my article was published who were kind enough to give me some advice to repair the top. This is why this club is so wonderful. Its members are willing to reach out to each other and offer advice and a helping hand. I appreciated each and every one of you who contacted me. Unfortunately, the issues were beyond a simple synchronization of the motors. There was something else lurking in the depths of the convertible hell I was in.  It was time I contacted an expert, Don at Mr. M Car in Farmingdale, NJ.
When I dropped the car off to Don and Dwayne I explained what was happening and what I had done. I also gave them a small list of other items that needed attention as well.  Within a day or so they had diagnosed the source of the anguish. The passenger convertible boot latch that contains the micro switch was faulty. It was not reading the position of the boot so it was not allowing the system to synchronize.  Finally, success!  A convertible that converts. The top still had some quirks like the tension straps were weak but it goes up and down.
I was told I had to watch the edge of the convertible top and the boot lid because if you didn’t make sure the rear of the top was fully up, they would meet, which would cause the boot lift bar to pop off the motor again. This happened twice to me. The main cause of this was the clip to hold everything in place was not the correct one. A trip to Circle BMW’s parts counter solved that issue with a brand new OEM piece. I got really good at accessing the top motor by now so it only took a matter of minutes to install the proper clip thus resulting in worry free topless driving.

Since the love was lost with all the problems, I was determined to sell the car.  It left a bad taste in my mouth. I had owned it for 6+ months at this time and only drove it 100 miles. I was almost mad I traded my e38 for this thing. I loved that 740IL.  I was ready to put the 323i on the chopping block but then something happened. I started to drive it.  True to any BMW, it was a great driving machine. With 95% of its issues taken care of I was happily cruising around town with the top down, and wind in my hair. The car was starting to grow on me. The strange thing is for whatever reason I just never had an appreciation for the e36’s. Maybe because most of the ones I had seen on the market were driven hard and put away wet. Well this one made me change my tune a bit. It is a lot of car for the little money you spend. A great bang for the buck if you will.
Any day that was sunny and I didn’t need my truck for business I was topless and loving every minute of it. It became my fair weather daily driver. This e36 was a pretty nice car. My wife even drove it to work and got lots of compliments on it. Maybe I am going to keep this thing?
But reality set in. I am now going into business for myself brokering European, classic and specialty vehicles. I am also providing local, national and worldwide vehicle transportation. Some of the extra toys have to go to raise the needed funds for startup capital.  I drove the e36 cabrio to Bimmerfest at Raceway Park and put a for sale sign on it.  I had a lot of interest but no real buyers. Next was internet marketing. This is where my talents and experience come into play. In a matter of 6 days I had this car sold to someone who was giving it to their girlfriend’s daughter as a first car. I have to say two months ago, I wouldn’t have cared too much but when I delivered it to their home, I was a little sad that I had sold it. With the rollercoaster of emotions this car gave me it was certainly a journey. I am happy that it wound up with a new home, in better condition than when I first got it. More importantly, it helped me get one step closer to starting my business.
 
 
The small sacrifices I make now will return long term gains. But once things get rolling I can put my eye out for the next acquirement. Maybe an e46 M3, or an e28 M5, or another e30 convertible or better yet that e30 Touring I’ve been searching European listings for.  But at least this e36 redeemed itself which in turn opened my eyes to one of the best bargains in the BMW market
 
~ JT Burkard ~
Comments and suggestions welcome

The Droptop Disgruntlement

The Droptop Disgruntlement
 
Originally Written June 2015
 
Frustration. It comes in many ways. It’s sifting through thousands of lines of code to find that one </> you forgot to place to close out the command. A musician with writer’s block on the verge of finishing that Grammy winning song but being distracted by the neighbors TV that only has one volume, FULL. Perhaps it’s waiting on Tech support for 1 and four quarter minutes then being transferred to someone who actually speaks English only to get disconnected. Maybe you are trying to teach an old cat new tricks but they just sleep instead. Yes, life is full of frustration.  What frustrates me? My e36 convertible top that is being as compliant as a 5 year old in the cereal aisle when mommy says no but they are tempted by tiny colored marshmallows and plastic toys wrapped in clear plastic. That my Bimmerfile friends is the ultimate irritation.




As you may remember from our last issue I magically turned my e38 into an e36 323i convertible. Don’t ask how I did it; it’s a well guarded trade secret. As you will soon find out, I may have regret and disappointment with my decision. I knew the car had some needs. The blower motor was not functioning and there are some front end parts that are not as tight as they used to be. Plus the ABS and Airbag light was on, covered up by electrical tape as if that will fool anyone. But the car was fairly clean and it did run well so I was willing to do some work in exchange for topless fun in the sun.

About a month ago the plastic trim piece that goes across the top by the windshield started to hang. I investigated and it appeared it was just a couple zip ties holding it in place, at least that’s what  used to be there. It was starting to get dark but I figured it shouldn’t take long and it will be a quick fix.  Famous last words right? My wife offered a hand in the backyard mechanicry. The trim piece was a little more difficult to hold in place than I thought but Sandy did what she could to help keep it aligned. After several increasingly annoying tries, I was able to get everything back to where it should be. Next was to operate the top to make sure everything is ok. Halfway back, the zip ties break free and trim piece pops off again. I didn’t know why or how but all those minutes fiddling were all in vain. For a temporary repair, I got regular wire ties just to hold the trim roughly in place so I can put the top back in place.

In another 30 seconds, I would be done for the night... but not the way I thought. Murphy’s Law, anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.  As the rear of the top is lifting to allow the convertible boot to come down, they both catch and next thing I hear is a loud metallic POP! That can’t be good.  But the top was still moving so I figured maybe it was just caught and its fine now.  Wrong sir, WRONG! Now everything is operating out of sequence. The boot is trying to go up as the top is trying to go down.  This really can’t be good.

At this point the wind is out of my sails and the convertible top is stuck in limbo. Much like a pair of sneakers hanging from the power lines, destined to be perpetually suspended in air.  I was done for the evening. The sunlight is now replaced by the luminous glow from the spotlights over the garage door. Now the decision what to do with the car as rain was expected in the morning? With only a one car garage and the e21 resting comfortably inside, I had to make the unfortunate choice to pull that one out and bring the e36 in since the malfunctioning top would not be ideal for the impending inclement weather.

I had about as much motivation to find out what happened as a pirate walking the plank. We both said the same thing too - ARGH!!!!! Jump ahead to just two weeks ago, I pull the emergency release located under the rear seat on the driver’s side to free the two electric motors and operate the top manually. I then remove the trunk trim to reveal the motors. I quickly find that the convertible boot rod that connects to the motor had popped off so that explains the banging noise. As I try to reinstall it, I find the bracket coming off the top motor had bent. With a small pry bar and a mallet I was able to straighten the bent metal into the proper position. I managed to get the bar back into the post. The clip was missing so Sandy, my trusty mechanics assistant, suggested it might be under the trunk mat. Sure enough, there is was. Now there is a proper sequencing procedure that I’ve done once before several years ago with another 323i cabriolet at my dealership with a similar issue. I would have to wait to finish the job properly until I find the instructions again.

That day was today. I found the link on my work computer to the sequence and after getting home from work, I was ready to finally get this car together.

Step 1 - Pull the release and disengage the motors.

Step 2 – Manually retract the top and close the boot cover.

Step 3 – Reengage the motors.

Step 4 – Key off press the top up button, Turn the key to the accessory. Wait 12 seconds the convertible boot locks then within 10 seconds the top will close on its own. Everything will be in sync.

That’s what the instructions said.  I have done this several times. Each time I can hear motors working but the boot cover only locked and would not lift to allow the top to close. I double, no make that triple check the motors to make sure they are engaged and everything seems to be as the instructions state, except the darn thing isn’t doing what they say it’s supposed to be doing. All I have is a flashing red light on the top button and a permanent convertible. I am throwing in the towel and need to seek professional help. Probably in more ways than one, but that’s for another story.

Frustration, it’s the killer of motivation. It’s the source of stress. It stems from failure, causing hindrance in the completion of projects. Its birthplace is not within the depths of Hell, but resides in the boot well of the e36 convertible top.

~ JT Burkard ~
Comments and suggestions welcome

Out with the old, in with the slightly not that old

Out with the old, in with the slightly not that old
 
Originally written March 2015

 So today it happened. 4 years of luxurious use and comfort has gone away. It was a trip to a dealer auction that turned into a 4 year love affair that eventually had to end. It started with a used old gal that needed someone to turn her into a princess again.  I accepted that challenge with a nod of my head. Countless money and time and she became a lady again, not quite a princess as she’s still a little wrinkled but not as disheveled. I’m not talking about some uptown heiress turned homeless woman, I’m referring to my 1996 740il.
 
 
 The road to the sale was a long one.  A couple months ago I half assed listing the car for sale to raise a little extra capital for a business venture I am looking into. I didn’t push selling it because I loved my e38 but a few weeks ago I gave it another whirl, this time with the real intention of selling. I did the same with our boat. Even though I do this for a living, when it’s my own personal vehicles, I grow attached. It becomes harder to sell them but sometimes, that day is inevitable.
 Trying to get a qualified buyer was the first hurdle. If you’ve ever tried selling a car on Craigslist, you understand the pain. Once you get past teenagers trying to exchange old Playstations, X-Boxes, Atari 2600’s and a rusted BMX bicycle, then you have the section of “buyers” who are waiting for money from a lawsuit, tax return, borrow from family, loan sharks, or impending bank robberies. They want to come and see the car, test drive it and negotiate, even though they can’t afford a pack of gum. Then you have the scammer who sends a message “still for sale?” which I reply yes, and they get into a long drawn out story how they are on an oil barge or ship or some other BS story and they will send a driver after they send you a bogus check and just wire the extra money to their shipping company. Not a chance. Your money disappears into the abyss into some Nigerian internet thief’s hands or perhaps someone taking residence at the Principality of Sealand for the purpose of ripping people off - Google that for some fun.
 Next hurdle is the “buyer” who emails a low ball offer without ever talking to me, emailing questions, or knowing anything else about the car except for the small amount of info listed in my ad.  Those are just price shoppers and I just delete the emails without ever responding. In my experience 100% of those people will never actually buy the car, just web shopping. Probably for those who are in the previous category of tire kickers.
 Finally you get the small number of real buyers. Those with money or a qualified trade. People who will actually send an email with some cognitive skill, an actual name and a phone number, and a good handle of language. Even better, an actual phone call!  How 1990’s of them.  I had offers of an e46, an e30 ix, an e21 (which was a very tempting possibility), then something that piqued my interest enough because the buyer was local. The vehicle offered for trade? An e36 Convertible.  In Schwarz (Black) with Leder Soft (Beige) Interior, 111,000 miles, and decent condition, at least by what the pictures showed.
 
 
 The buyer/trader stopped by my dealership on Tuesday to show me his car. It was bitterly cold so I had to make the inspection quick. The paint was nice, the interior was good, convertible sound. All seemed well.  Since I didn’t have mine, we scheduled the next day for test drives.  Wednesday I drive the e38 into work. The battery was week and barely taking a charge so I called Advanced Auto Parts to see if I can exchange the one I had purchased 4 years prior for a new one since it was prorated after 36 months and up to 84 months.  They no longer prorate their batteries! Even though it clearly states that on the receipt, they won’t honor it. That was very unfortunate but that’s a complaint for another article. I bit the bullet and bought the new battery so I was ready to go.
 My buyer shows up, we take a couple test drives. First my e38 then his e36. We tour Bricktown to get the feel of each other’s cars. He seemed impressed with the way the M62 just had smooth power and the 7 had a fantastic ride quality. His car was less luxurious but the handling was much sportier yet still comfortable to use daily.  Upon arriving back at my shop, we do the exchange. I’ve never had an e36 and even though the weather has been less than ideal for top down driving, Spring is coming and what better way to welcome the warm weather than with topless cruising… The car, not me. Trust me no one wants to see that.
 I’m a full 24 hours into the transaction but I think I made a good decision. I am not sure if I will be keeping the e36 or placing it up for sale for the initial purpose of business capital. I have to do a couple repairs to it first like the blower motor and front end work. Once those are taken care and drive it a little bit I will make my final decision. Time will only tell. As for the Principality of Sealand I hear for only £29.99 you can become a Lord, Lady, Baron or Baroness.

Lord JT, savior of BMW’s has a nice ring to it
 
JT Burkard
Comments and suggestions are welcome